Please help guys, this is one of the most important things i've ever seen in my life, and it means so, so much. Post to facebook, share, do whatever you can to raise awareness. Please guys, this is about the world.
This is about us.

Sorry guys, I guys this blog is hereby abandoned until I can get a camera. Sorry, there's not much I can do nowadays. Thanks for all the past follows and hypes and stuff, sorry I couldn't keep it up. But since I can't do things on my own anymore, (but still am dying from lack of photography) I'll give you all my tumblr adress if your interested.
jenniferhaswings.tumblr.com 

First off, I owe you guys an explanation. I know alot of people don't read this blog since i've been sooo inactive, but i'll tell you wassap.
My camera is broken, and i don't have a rich family, I cant get another one. Even a cheap one for 35$.
So, no more pictures. It's really hard.
BUT, i was looking through some old picture files and found some mediocre ones from the past to post up here for you guys that still care, and then i'll complain about the life i'm living, even though there's not much to complain about, little things are piling up && someone needs to hear them, even if that someone is an inanimate blog that noone reads anymore.
So, without further adue, here's some pictures for you lovely people.

I like the number 5, it's my thing so that's whats up with these number pictures.

I'm not sure how i feel about this one, ^^ but hey, i thought it was at least sortof cool.

I really dilike that picture, and the editing is soooo crappy, but, idk. some people might like it.

^^ i love this one, one of my favorite songs is wish you were here by pink floyd.

^^ one of my favorite pictures ever.

66 me as a really young child.:3

My little sis.(:

My sweet little tony boy.♥

tony again♥

&& tony.

and tony once more.♥

This picture is a little hard to understand,
i'm trying to make the point that alot of times lust and looks covers up personality and becomes more important.

I love this picture, I didnt take it, its of my older sisters a long time ago, but i think it's just amazing. It makes me miss my childhood bunches. ALot of kids sit at home playing on the computer or video games, but our familys kids always were doing stuff like this, it was gorgeous.

just had to add this awesome-ass beard guy.
keep stunning man.(;

at the san diego zoo.(:

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Well, thats it for the pictures. Now for my life lately.

As you know, i'm in high school now, and it's second semester. Alooooot has happened lately.
I mean, shit dude. SO, at first, me and kaysi really didnt talk and stuff, but now we've gotten close again, and it makes me soo, so happy bro. I don't think you guys comprehen it. But yea, we're chill now. && she has a boyfriend, and she's so happy with him, and i'm so happy for herrr.♥ it's just awesome that she's truly happy with him. But one of our bestfriends, marcie, is changing and now hates her. I think we're still chill, but shit's all complicated now. WHo the fuck knows?? sigh. SO yea. I kissed this one guy, && i was starting to really like him, but he had a girlfriend (i know guys, i fucked up tough.) and he had to go to a military academy for the rest of the yeaar. Shiit, right? ha. I hope I sat cool and dont make any bitch moves like doing that again, idk if the girl found out, but either way, it was wrong and i know it. stupid little me.
Soccer season started (dont know if i previously mentioned that.) and we're doing pretty great, i'm a starter :D I'm almost 15 now too, february 5th. I'm excited for that.
At lunch i've started hanging out with some really great people, and i'm happy about that. all guys.-____-, girls are stupid, judgemental, and petty from my experience. Except kaysi and a few other people(x ha,
I met this guy who switched into my bio class,(softmore, getting his permit next week!:3) ha, his name is cameron, and i like him now. I told him, because i prefer to be straaaightup(; and he said he was happy && he like me too, but then i said that i would rather stay friends though, so that there's no pressure, and he said he was relieved i thought like that too! So i'm happy that 2 people think the same way, makes me happy.(: I hope we stay friends through whatever, he's a great guyy. So yea, there's that.
I________________________________________________________________
now for my problems. -____________________-
#1.  lately i'm really starting to get more and more bothered with the fact that i'm poorer than all my friends, and i know that sounds stupid, but daaamn. it gets old. They all have their season board/skii passes, and i always wanna go, but i never can. I can't get a phone(no money,) or a camera. We have to struggle through every month, and even though we arent dirt poor, it's hard to stretch money with such a big family with so many kids with so many needs.
#2.  I still am in love with him, after all this time. and he does'nt pay me the time of day. It's horrible. I know he's different now, he's honestly become a horrible person, and he isnt the guy i met 2 years ago at all, but theres a part of me that is still angry, upset, hurt, untrusting, and missing him like crazy. I guess it's like a scar or something, my love's never going to go away, and i know that and have stopped trying. I also don''t care that i do, and think about him every day and hope one day i'll be with him and everything will be perfect. But since that never ended up working out, he left me untrusting and unable to stay liking anyone else, he made sure i always kept 1 foot on the ground. I'm still chained up, not really free at all. But i keep thinking free, and i hope one day i'll escape or be with him. It's hard to deal with, seeing him with all these other girls, knowing im not the special one for him and he is for me. I wish i could just be happy with someone else.
#3.  I feel like i have no life, i want to be out partying every weekend, not sitting at home wishing i was. I want to be drinking every night, living wild. and truth is, im just not. i feel embarrased about it.
#4.  I just want to be living at the beach, i miss my real home more than anything, i just want to run into the waves and o back to the simple life again.
#5.  I miss so, so, so, many people with all of my heart, it's tearing me apart. I miss my family and old friends.
#6.  I'm really worried about my grandma and grandpa, theyre getting older and older, and my grandma has cancer. I don't know what i would do without them.
#7.  I miss being a litte kid.
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Now that i'm done with that little shitty complaining session, ha, i'd like to say on a whole i'm happy even with all these things (little or big)
I love being a live, && i'm just trying to make my own damn way in this huge world, being happy, smiling every day. living here, in the present and full.
because even the most ignorant people realize that one day they will die.

Forever and always,
find the singing shell.

I talked to him today for the first time in months.
I told him that i missed him,
and he said
he missed
me too.
liar.

I know it's been awhile, with no camera && being grounded till christmas it's hard to get a photoshoot going,
but yea. I'm still alive, no worries.

Missing someone is the worst feeling in the world.
I still miss him.
I miss you.
C.


always && forever,
find the singing shell